We’ve all seen her. And if we’re honest, we’ve all been jealous of her at one point or another.
How does she do it? I barely have time to brush my teeth, you think to yourself.
That hair, that body! Even without kids I don’t think I could look that good!
You know her. And you probably hate her. She is: ‘Instamom’ — that mama on Instagram or social media that has you feeling beyond insecure about your post-pregnancy body.
Recovering from giving birth to your first baby is tough. Your body has undergone some serious changes and incredible transformations, and bouncing back to your pre-pregnancy self is not as easy as you may have thought.
Not to mention, seeing women like ‘Instamom’ parade their successes on social media for all to see does not make things any easier.
But don’t worry, I’ve got a solution to your ‘Instamom’ problems that will help you feel better, motivate you and allow you to embrace your post-pregnancy body.
Why You Don’t Need To Be ‘Instamom’
Sure, she looks fabulous in her pictures. But take a look at your own social media. Do you post all of your bad days? Do you share selfies after sleeping just 3 hours a night for the past 2 months?
Likely not. Just like you, ‘Instamom’ is showing her best self — she too is human and has bad days. Plus, I am willing to bet that her hair is not perfect everyday.
Knowing that, you still shouldn’t strive to be ‘Instamom’.
Let’s dig in:
1. Comparison Is the Thief of Joy
Everyone is different. We all have different priorities, different abilities, different weaknesses, different schedules, different things on our to-do lists. To compare yourself to someone that is not you is bound to end in disaster, no matter what.
There is only one of you. Comparing yourself to someone else will bring about feelings of jealousy, and we all know how destructive jealousy can be.
2. You’re Not Being Your Authentic Self
By striving to be someone else, you are throwing away the most important person in your life: yourself. I’m going to say it again — there is only one of you in this world. You have special strengths that absolutely no one else has. And, in striving to be ‘Instamom’, you are giving up following your own heart to share your special strengths with the world, and are instead acting as a copycat of someone else.
No one likes a copycat.
The only way to true happiness is by being your authentic self. You may be able to fool others into thinking you’re someone you’re not, but you will never be able to fool yourself.
3. Social Media Does Not Equal Reality
You never know what is going on behind the scenes of ‘Instamom’s’ perfect picture — she could be thousands of dollars in debt, she could be on the brink of a divorce, or she could even be unemployed. *shrug*
All you see is her perfect body and you immediately feel that sting of jealousy. There are many other aspects of her life that you will likely never see, other aspects that show the full picture of who the true ‘Instamom’ is.
How To Accept and Love Your True Self
Now that you see why you shouldn’t push yourself to be like ‘Instamom’, I am going to share with you the best ways that you can accept your beautiful self for who you are.
Clean up your social media newsfeeds and what you see online.
It’s hard to remind yourself that you are fabulous just the way you are if your social media newsfeeds are filled with nothing but (likely) unrealistic Instamoms. Follow people and groups who positive, encouraging, motivating and empowering.
Throw out those pre-baby jeans that just aren’t going to fit.
Rather than torture yourself every day by attempting to squeeze into a pair of jeans that fit you before you shared your body with another human for nine months, just throw them out. Don’t keep things around that make you feel bad about yourself. Seize this opportunity to go out and buy a new pair of jeans that will make your post-pregnancy bum look incredible!
Celebrate the awesomeness of motherhood.
Stop for a moment and really think about this: you carried another human around in your belly for nine months. You fed it, you nurtured it, you grew it — all within your own body. It’s just incredible, isn’t it? And even if you didn’t carry your child for 9 months you are still a mother, and you should pat yourself on the back every day for this accomplishment and the responsibilty it takes to raise children. It is a beautiful and amazing thing, and don’t you ever forget it!
Keep a gratitude journal.
There is so much in life to be thankful for. Having a hot bod does not need to be one of them. Every morning or evening, spend just 5 minutes writing down everything that you’re thankful for. It can be as simple as “I’m thankful that I got to eat dinner with my family tonight.” You will be amazed at how many wonderful things you have in your life that mean far more more than a perfect body.
Take time to be present.
With the crazy world today that is constantly on the move, it is important for you to take some time to be present, especially as a new mama. Your baby will grow up so fast and before you know it, you’ll be saying, I wish I would have spent more time just enjoying the moments instead of always looking ahead. Be aware of this before it’s too late and give yourself some time to just sit and be one with your new baby.
Celebrate the small wins.
Were you able to do 10 jumping jacks today? Great job! Rather than feeling like this is nowhere near where you want to be, be happy that you are taking the steps to get there. Every step you take in the right direction should be celebrated.
So how do you feel about ‘Instamom’ now? While you still may envy her seemingly perfect life, you likely have a more realistic vision of who she may, or may not, be. But most importantly, you should have a more realistic vision of who you are. You are an incredible mama who has so much to be proud of.
So put away those desires to be someone else, and be so thankful that you get to be you.